I'M BACK!!!!

I know it has been a while my friends, but we have had some terrible illness pass thru here that had me down for the count.  I'm back up now.  We have found out that everyone is on the mend.   However, please keep my son, Zak, in your prayers as he is struggling with some tough things...too tough for any 9 year old to have to deal with.

As for me, I continued to work out to the best of my ability most days of my illness.  However, the jogging became too difficult for my lungs.  I'm hoping to be back to it tomorrow after taking a day to rest.  I need prayers and encouragement in this area as I am to do my 5K next Friday.  I do feel great after a work out and I think this is what helped me from getting too sick.  Now, I need to add my vitamin and much more rest in there somewhere...YEAH, RIGHT!!!

As of my last weigh in, I was down to 252.9.  I'm pleased, considering I haven't made the best choices this last week.  I mostly ate when I had a second...so guess what we do with only a second here or there.   We eat food that is fast, easy and that means usually higher in calories and/or fat.  I have decided, thru this experience to have cut up carrots and broccoli ready in the fridge, to have grapes, apples and oranges right out in the center of the fridge and to have pre-portioned meats/cheeses ready for a quick snack if the hunger hits and I'm too overwhelmed to prepare something.

Yuck!!!

I went back up to 257 this week.  I'm not sure why...but my hope is that it balances itself out next week. 

This is a pretty yucky day for me.  Emotional, sick kids, just overwhelmed.  I really want to escape somewhere for a while...but life isn't like that.  This WILL be a day where I workout extra hard to burn off a lot of this frustration.

What would you like to see on my blog?

I'm wanting to add to my blog sight.  I want it to be fun and informative.  Any suggestions? 

My eating habits this week have been pretty good.  I'm still struggling, but I'm not giving in to many of the temptations.  Mind you I said "many" not all :).  However, I do find the desire for foods have changed.  I really want proteins and fruits  more than breads and sweets.  I like this.  Hopefully it sticks :)

Drink water!!!!  Wow, when I'm thinking I'm hungry or "needing" a sweet, I down a glass of water and the "need" is washed away.  Did you like the play on words?  Seriously though, I feel so much better after a big glass of water...and not quilty either. 

Okay, so my exercise routine is working out really well...except for the 5:00 am thing...but this is what works for me right now.  So, I jogged this morning and stretched my time by 10 minutes.  I feel sooooo good after, but I will admit I would like to find excuses to stay in bed.  I'm thankful I do the exercise for two reasons.  1) I have more energy & 2) I don't feel so guilty if I eat a bit more at a meal.  Again, notice I said " a bit more"...not a lot more.  BALANCE!!!!

Prayer / Amy / Email Updates

If I haven't mentioned it before, I will now.  Prayer is a very powerful tool.  I have asked God to take away my desire to use food to fill the voids.  He doesn't work on my terms or my time line.  However, I can look back over the last few days and see the desire for the junk food that I used have and the portions I had been consuming are not there.  I know I will have harder days than others, but leaning on my Rock; my God, is the going to be the biggest part of my success.  Try it in your own lives (in faith) and then sit back and see what God can do for you...possibilities are endless.

I have been very blessed by my friend, Amy Harp.  She has offered to help train me for my first 5K...which was her idea also.  She even came over and showed me how to do my weight training properly.  Thank you Amy!!

If you would like to get my blog updates, my wonderful husband has added an area where you can enter your e-mail.  The updates will come to you the day after they are made, but it is an easier way for you to keep up with my progress. 

I'm open to suggestions, requests, etc.  So please post on my blog. 

Why do I Eat When I'm Not Hungry / Weight Loss

I really had to ask myself this question over the weekend.  I wasn't feeling good.  Should be an automatic "no need to eat" situation.  I was keeping my hands busy making jewelry and creating scrapbook pages.  This usually keeps me from eating when I'm not hungry.  Then again, I don't desire the foods at all usually when I'm scrapbooking.  This weekend, however, I wanted to nibble on everything in sight.  I didn't...not everything at least :).  However I caught myself eating when I wasn't hungry.  I believe, after much thought...and throwing away the uneaten portions, that I thought I wouldn't ever have it again.  Or, at least, I felt like that.  Wow!!! Is this a lie you have ever told yourself?  "I will never eat something this good again."  "There is only a little, I better grab some just in case." or "I'll only eat it here as a treat to myself."  What a treat...one that makes you feel guilty, fat, uncomfortable.  It is like drinking yourself into a terrible hangover and saying "I earned it"....WHAT??? 

I will say, however, that when I eat something wonderfully tasting...when I'm hungry, it is not only enjoyable, but it is not followed by guilt and pain.  I need to;  1)stop and ask myself if I'm really hungry  2) pick something carefully that I'm really wanting, will enjoy and that has some healthy qualities to it. (notice I didn't say totally healthy...I'm not unreasonable :) ), 3) eat slow enough to realize when the hunger is gone and finally 4) pack the rest up for the next meal or snack.   Now, I will have eaten at the right time, something I love, just enough and best of all ...save some for another time.

Oh...by the way.  I'm down another 3.8 lbs this week.  Yeah!!!

Frustrating Couple of Days / 5K Run

I haven't posted in the last few days because of  "avoidance".  I have been avoiding the fact that I havent' made the best food choices over the last couple of days.  I'M BACK NOW!!!  I realized this morning as I was doing my route that it isn't about watching what goes in my mouth...but rather, how much.  That has been my goal from the beginning.  Instead of being happy that I'm not eating as much, I have been mad at myself for the choices I made.  Guess what!!  When I get mad at myself...I eat more.  Ironic, huh.  So this morning I was craving M&Ms.  I got a bag...not a big one :).  I saw that the whole bag was 440 calories.  I don't want that.  A half bag is 220.  Still don't want to use that many calories on chocolate.  Therefore I choice to eat a 1/4 of the bag.  I ate one at a time and savored them.  Guess what...I only ate 1/8th of the bag and I WAS SATISFIED.  Why are thin people thin...BECAUSE THEY DON'T EAT A LOT AT EACH MEAL.  This is not about going without.  It is about better choices and better portions.  I need to remind myself that everyday, less I get dicsouraged.

One more note.  I am training for my first 5K run at the beginning of November.  I may have to walk 1/2 of it...but I'm going to finish it.  I went on my first outside job/speed walk in years.  I FEEL AWESOME!!!!  Amy...thank you for the idea and being willing to work with me.

Week One Weigh In

I have completed my first week (of many) of my weight loss challange.  I thank you for all the words of encouragement. 

The weekend was a bit harder than I thought it would be, but I know I didn't eat nearly what I would have before.  Baby steps...Baby steps. 

I DO feel better than I have in a long time and that is encouraging also.  I lost 5.6 lbs this week.  I would have liked to see more for my first week, but I'm greatful that my hard work paid off, even a little.  I know most weeks will be small weight loss, which is the right way to do it.  I have to remember I'm not dieting (temporarily), I'm changing my life style (permenantly).  Slow and steady wins the race!!!!

My "What I Want More Than Food" list is up and I will add on as things hit me.  Joe has also added my weight loss graph. 

I'm having a hard time getting a donation area set up...but hopefully this week.  Please be in prayer in a way that you can sponsor me through one of my organizations.

Fun with the girls tonight

I'm looking forward to Bunko with my girlfriends from church tonight.  The hardest part will be the wonderful food that will be offered.  I relate a good time with food.  This will be my first big challenge on saying "no" when I have eaten all my body needs.  My sis-in-law is making a great, healthy spread.  I will be having a wonderful Weight Watcher's Mexican chilli, salad and strawberries.  Although in the past I would have eaten more because...well..."it is healthy".  I know better!  Healthy or not, my body doesn't need the large portions.  I will feel better coming home not being stuffed.  Instead I'm going to enjoy great company, lots of laughter and hopefully a few Bunkos for good measure.

What Do I Want More Than Food

My mom had a great idea to make a list of things that I want more than food and keep the list handy.  I'm going to add that as one of my "boxes" down the left margin...so keep an eye out for it.  The list will grow, I'm sure, as I go along. :)  Thanx mom for the great idea. 

So today was a lot easier.  I felt good today and had more energy.  That right there is enough to keep me going.  I know that I'm treating my body better so it will treat me better :).  I didn't have cravings today, but I know that is just today.  Like my mom said, an alcoholic takes it one hour at a time...that is what I will have to do too.

I worked out on the Wii again today.  I like the idea of feeling like I'm playing instead of working out.  One of my first goals is to join either Tae Kwon Do or a basketball legue when I get some of this weight off.  It's hard enough to move up and down stairs right now.